Monday, December 1, 2008

torn two ways.

so today we got our report cards back. i knew i wasnt gonna be the 13 A student like last year so i prepared to be disappointed. my english is horrible, ms.ionescu is so primitive. my french is also horrible because ms fralick hates our guts and has issues.

so during science i wrote on my hand "all for christ". i knew i wasnt going to get something on my report card that favoured me, for a fact. but this time i was prepared to take a fall. fast forward two periods and we get our report cards back. so i openned it up and lookie whats inside. big arsed asian failure. lol- i wanted to scream. i wanted to rip my heart out. all do the crazy crap. but i held it in. i wasn't going to show everyone how weak i am. i wanted to hold everything in check yet truely i wanted to just let it run wild and just go with the flow.


im torn. between God and the world. i want to love God but the world is on its knees and pulling my sleeve. i know my relationship with God is RIGHT, but i'm still tempted away by the worldly matters. this is just how weak i am. i need God in everything that i do, and i dont know how i could do anything without him. falling to sin is just simply not an option, in an


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the light at the end of the tunnel~ 81.5% average. enough to stay in the honor roll. enough to improve on. time to move on with life and God.
the cost of discipleship is everything. it drains you. you can't look back. you will be rewarded.

2 comments:

Timothy Luk said...

hey chris,
keep chugging along, praying to God, trusting Him, and one day, this will all make sense. someday you will understand that God only does what is best for His servants, so even if it's so unclear and frustrating now, just have hope and patience to go through all of this!
i'll be praying for you, dude...just continue to do your best!
-tim

Jones said...

I had kind of the same situation recently. I thought i ridded myself from the world for good but Satan always sneaks around. And sometimes i do look back because it's hard. But w/e, God will do his thing.