rough rough rough round the edges

so ive been looking at the case of false teachers and was going to blog about my first in counter with a false teacher but its very hard for me to do. i have never touched the subject. not only that the guy i was gonna blog about had said a lot and had no justice in it. its an intricate matter. but why im blogging about this is that God told me to leave that for another day. he wanted me blog about something else thats happening in my life.


so you know me. i fight for what i believe in, try to get good grades you know normal stuff. but then theres conflict in every christian's walk. sometimes i feel im very far in the walk and sometimes i feel im justing starting out again. its frustrating sometimes, but then again i like challenges. if we were perfect what could we achieve? im a conflicted guy. when bad things happen i A) get angry B) get frustrated a whole lot (goes hand in hand with A) C) the worst: my mind goes totally blank and i look away from God and focus on the crap. A & B are fine but C is what disturbs me. everytime i get frustrated i always look at how to fix the problem quickly and efficiently without any help. its like an instinct. its not until hours or even days that i notice what ive done wrong. and me typing this blog right at this moment is a classic example. in enochs blog he says when we should be closer to God but instead we are farther than we should be.


my walk is complicated. when i first started off as i christian i was at the beginning of the bridge. i stayed at the beginning for a very long time. i guess during the years of 4 - 11 i took a few steps but not by much and then i stopped again. then i started to walk and walk and walk and i started to notice the bridge was getting narrower and narrower. then i fell off the bridge. i started back at the beginning. i struggled to get up. i started walking again i was back at the point where i had fallen. i took two steps and fell off again. sometimes i feel like i dont even make it back to the spot i had fallen to which makes me have the feeling to go back to the 'basics'. as i said earlier if you are being challenged you should feel some content and realize youre getting stronger from the experience even though you keep messing up, if you try you will come through. perserverance will make you whole and lacking in zilch.


G'nites by the way i wouldnt mind hearing some of your walks ;D