stuffzz

instead of supposedly filling a void, man creates one.
- some guy, who is smart.

half of my heart

by john mayer.
And half of my heart is the part of a man who's never truly loved anything.




im at war, a civil war ...

a little big miracle -

wow,

so today i got my accounting test back. yes, it was the one that i did not have a clue about and i when i laid my coin slot eyes upon my mark i went nuts. 48/60. i couldnt believe it and still cant believe it. lol, id like to attribute my it to my hasty prayer bfore the test but who knows.

all that being said, i feel that theres a lack of faith in me. and maybe this was what i needed?

11 I will remember the deeds of the LORD;
yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.
12 I will consider all your works
and meditate on all your mighty deeds.”

from psalm 77

AMEN!

a meteor

as usual not what i was originally going to post about but its okay cause i saved it(i think)

anyhoo, i just had this random thought about a meteors and stuff. when a meteor enters the atmosphere friction breaks off parts of the meteor and disintegrates them yada yada you probably know.

i was just relating this to how christians are like meteors having our liabilities, weaknesses, pains, sins, and other things being stripped off us as we get closer to God(the earth i guess)and then when we do hit the earth all we are left with are the essential bits, the good parts i guess. quite incoherent i know, but i just didnt wanna lose the idea lola. who knows this will probably get deleted later anyway.

sidenote,
i seem to be seeing more, bad things, i guess. and its pretty much about human nature ... why do people do this and that. everytime i log onto facebook to play poker theres so some sort of turdlike post(s) on my homepage. and at school theres always got to be some melodramatics. i wanna get away, but how is it possible.
seeing and hearing some things just really break me nowadays and my mindset is getting darker and darker everyday.

this post is asking for the deletion hammer

quickie. (HAHA not really)

so today i was watching a film about the inhumane slaughtering of cows and terrible our food industry is. yes quite random ... well anyway. the mood of the class was dare i say it, dark. its as if they never knew things like this happened in real life.

in their own life.

in this film it talked about how the food industry cast a large curtain. and behind this curtain held many deep secrets. inhumane ways of slaughtering animals, what goes into the food, jacking mexicans to work in processing plants, etc etc. lol.
it also noted junk food is becoming cheaper than normal people food like cabbage etc.

while i was walking home it just so happened that my ipod ran out of juice.
good time to pray and reflect on the film? yeeup.

when i thought about it i realized that we are the ones putting up the curtain in our spiritual war. we dont like to see the ugly things. thinking back on that thought.
is that why non christians dont want to be saved? are they scared of the truth?
are they scared of the curtain being lifted?

in my own life i know i put up that curtain every once in a while. loving God is hard for me. sometimes un-natural. God wants to spend time with me and i know that. sometimes my brain tells me it wants a break from everything, even God. but having a relationship with God, well, time must be spent. its a responsibility that every christian has to accept along with many, many others. then there are the responsibilities of the world. school, fam. work. to name a few. those can be done and finished, but with God its a forever commitment. it feels like my brain just can't make that huge leap. but when im in tune with God and i feel physically exhausted and totally depleted, God's spirit fuels me like he is right now (1:30AM just finished shakespeare hw FTW)and that feeling is like no other. it gives me a motivation. what i live for! i live for his love. without it, what and who am i?


time, time, time. something humans cherish just as much as money.


lol this has been a really personal blog i apologize with a lot of rambles and shambles here and there. i blame the long time blog (:


G'night have a nice one ;D
pray that God gives me some boosta juice tmrw morning.

justify,

READ THE EDIT BELOW ! teehee.